Happy Birthday America!!!!

Jesse is with his dad this 4th of July. Something I am thankful for. He has been back from Tennessee for three weeks and it has been a trying time for both of us. My just having set up a clean house to maintain and his room not being clean as well has caused us to butt heads on more than one moment in time. He was to have cleaned his room by the time he went back to his dads or at least have a good start on it, well it's not. So between now and when I pick him up Sunday I am going to remove every toy from his room and he will only have clothes and his bed in there. I know I had said to him that the things in the bins he could keep but that was with the original agreement of cleaning. So I may have him earn those back, somehow.

And mom is having a yard sale next weekend so it is perfect timing. Get rid of as much of this crap as we can, plus make some money to be able to pay our bills. Never mind the trip in two weeks, that I just don't see us as being able to attend. I know I should put my faith in God and trust him, and I do. So, I will remian faithful to him.

My elbow is healing after the big crash on sunday. Even the tetnus shot feels lots better. I can actually use my arm for more than an ornament. Even carried a gallon of milk in today. There was no way even yesterday morning I could have done that. I guess the infection is leaving as is the swelling. that ought to teach me.....doubtful

I have slept most of today. Just have had zero energy. I'd get up and think ok I'll start something, then in ten minutes I was back in bed. I think Dr Sigua and I are going to have a discussion on my taking the Lyrica. I am just to dragging to be functional. which doesn't help me parent Jesse or just be me. but we'll see. i also need to talk with Dr wakefield about my depression meds, i am so down. but is it b/c i only have 50 in the bank and no income. and parents who really don't seem to want to help but rather criticize how i live my life. and they wonder why i don't visit more. silly parents.


Brian and I are doing good. We talk on the phone about once or twice a week for a short time. Trying to keep our bills down there. IM as we can when we are both online. I am becoming a stronger me b/c of our not being in constant communication. I have to rely on myself to be a stronger me and not rely on him for my strength. Although I know he is there for me every step of the way. Our love is a true and deep one. It's hard to describe, but wouldn't change it. Except maybe the miles between us. I so miss and need his touch. To hear his voice remind me that I am strong.